LEADERS

"God never put anyone in a place too small to grow." ~ Henrietta Mears

PASTORS, COMMUNITY & CHURCH LEADERS

If you are a director or minister to singles I hope you will consider this meaningful and practical approach for single mothers. We believe that single mothers are one of the most overlooked and disenfranchised individuals in our communities and most likely in our churches as well. By encouraging them we also minister to their children who are often fatherless.

“Defend the poor and fatherless.”

SMORE for Women is designed to provide all the guidelines necessary to host a Single Mom Day of Blessings. I am available to facilitate the process for your first Day of Blessings. We suggest that Day takes place in a home when possible. If this is not possible the church facilities can be adapted to offer the intimate setting required. We have also hosted in community rooms of apartment complexes. Guests are limited to just the number that can be served there. There should only be as many guests as there are hostesses. I provide the instructional materials. A booklet, called Seed Packets, containing stories, articles, and information about the theme of the Day of Blessings is also provided for the moms.

We would be delighted to show you how to create a day with blessings, treats, and encouragement for deserving single mothers. We even fill-in as hostesses if you need us to.

I will be available for no fee except expenses for travel and lodging. This is a passion and calling for me. It is time that single mothers received the encouragement they so need from the community.

I will gladly explain in more depth when you contact me.

Gail Cawley Showalter
Founder

Gail's editorial
Beaumont Enterprise Sunday 2-20-11

Love, Family, and Single Moms

After an unwelcome and heart breaking divorce I moved in with my 71-year-old, widowed mother. She was a good sport and a great help. In the mornings she helped get kids ready for school and me off to work. As I left I’d say, jokingly, “You make a good wife.”

Families come in all shapes, sizes, and shades. For single mothers the aftermath of a lonely Valentine’s Day can be a terrible downer. Not having a mate is tough when all the girls are talking about the gifts they received. Girls, women, moms, and grandmothers all like to receive a treat from a lover. Being a loving person is so much bigger than being a lover.

It is what is happening in our heads, not our hearts, that creates the emotions we associate with the “missing piece.” Shel Silverstein wrote The Missing Piece Meets the Big O. It would make a great gift to you the week after Valentine’s Day. You may be surprised by the message. In fact, I suggest you prepare a lovely meal with candles just for yourself. Gift wrap the book, unwrap after your meal, and read it with chocolates for an after dinner treat.

Romantic love is a significant part of our adult lives. Love is broad, however, and is not just for lovers. Use this time to show your children the value of family love. Here are a few Memory Makers for you to try:

Use every opportunity to share with your children about the importance of respect in male/female relationships. Teach your sons to be gentlemen and your daughters to be ladies. Old fashioned? Not a bit.
Have older children prepare a special meal with all the table settings and decor. Then treat the whole family, whatever its make-up, as honored guests.
Have younger children or crafty older ones design and create handmade cards for grandparents for upcoming birthdays. Cover a table with doilies, construction paper, scissors, glue, glitter (for older kids), stickers, and maybe a photo of child. Let them go with it.
Allow kids to make slice and bake cookies. Wrap and tie with pretty ribbons and deliver to someone who may need a lift. This might even be a brother or sister of their own.
Make a “date” with each child. Do something together that interests the child, but not a shopping trip.

Demonstrate family love and your children will grow into loving adults.

Whatever your family makeup, cherish those who bring love into your home. Create your own sweet situation. Making a fond memory is something you will never regret.

Gail's Mother's Day Editorial
Beaumont Enterprise 2008

Who Wins ‘The Mother of the Year’?

No contest. The Single Mother is the heroine.
She loves and adores her children just as other mothers do. And alone she perseveres in mothering through all her heartaches as the children struggle to adapt to their disappointments. She delays her dreams and instills hope in their hearts. She endures thankless jobs but encourages her children to dream. Alone she performs mundane chores and keeps hoping for a brighter future. She never stops. She often receives no child support. And yet society accuses her. If she divorced, she acted selfishly. If her husband abuses her, she chose wrongly. Even the widow with children is not considered a whole, but an incomplete family unit.

How is it we don’t see—or refuse to acknowledge—mothers stay to raise the children while—men leave? And yet we discriminate against the mother with headlines like “Are Single Moms Ruining American.” How is it we judge the single moms as the victims, not from another, but victims of their own choices?

How is it we are not outraged that so many of our children’s fathers escape paying for the basic essentials while the single mothers can’t support their children without a good education? How is she to get an education without the funds to pay for it and for the childcare required while she does? We know that economic disadvantage leads to a multitude of other problems. Yet we support the stigma it creates.

     How is it the single mother is left alone to shoulder the consequences for a choice she didn’t make alone? Rarely do any of millions of single moms intentionally plan to raise their children without the support of a partner. While it is true single mom families come in various forms most come to it after a defeat such as death or divorce. Expectations of raising children in a two-parent home are shattered. The single mom’s disappointment is compounded when her economic status declines rapidly creating the “new poor.”

Recently I visited a facility in Texas that has refused to accept the prejudges and addresses the primary obstacles facing single mothers. They have established a safe, secure way out of fear and hopelessness.

The Buckner Family Place, A Place of Hope in Lufkin collaborates with government agencies and Angelina College to provide housing and childcare for single parent families striving for lasting self sufficiency. Here the mom and her children rediscover their optimism, and through authentic commitment renew their hope. And they are not alone.

     As stated in their brochure, “Buckner Family Place programs help participants break the cycle of welfare dependence, reduce domestic violence in homes, and eliminate incidents of child abuse while building stronger families through security and education.”

     I saw how a genuine caring program can ‘create futures’ for moms and their children. The program is challenging and requires intense study for a time with a realistic promise of independence.

     Mothers are given the gift of hope which paves the path towards creating a future. In the United States over ten million single mothers carry the load, continue on, and hope for a better day. The hope alive in her soul keeps her going.

The tireless, true, and tested single mother deserves our vote. There is no contest—she is The Mother of the Year.

     “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, And sings the tune—without the words, and never stops at all.” Emily Dickinson

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